Vacation is over and I have 2 take home points.


My family and I have been home from our vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC for 2 weeks now.  After a week at the beach, we stopped off in North Carolina to see some good friends for the night before returning home.  Having been to Myrtle Beach before, we didn’t feel rushed to “see the sites and spent a lot of time swimming in the pool and hanging out at the cabin.

This is a picture of where we stayed…  13 people under 1 roof…

We all had a great time and the location is beautiful.


Looking back over that week, there are a couple main points that I realized are important.  First, it’s important to allow yourself to relax, no matter how much you do or do not feel you “deserve” it.  Second, you should keep in touch with family, don’t let comments or distance come between you.
I didn’t feel like I deserved a vacation at the first of the week.  I had spent the past month setting up my new office and had not seen a lot of people.  My thought was “why do I need a vacation, I haven’t done any work”.  At the time, I wasn’t thinking about the work that it took to set up the office.  I was only looking at face-to-face time.  I initially went to help watch the kids and allow my wife to relax, I knew I couldn’t stay at home and make her take the kids on that 12 hour car ride by herself.  I soon realized how much time and energy I had spent planning for the business, making calls, driving to meetings, etc.  That is where my need for vacation came from, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted.  I didn’t want to admit it, but my wife soon convinced me that I needed the vacation as much as she needed a vacation.

The take home point to this is “vacation is as much a mental and emotional break as it is a physical break”.  I was able to put my phone down and not worry about checking it, not worry about making calls or marketing.  To be honest, it was the first vacation in many years that I did not, at least in some part, think about work or what I had waiting for me when I got back.  This is what a vacation should be – the absolute separation from an average day.

The second point is family related.  Keep in touch with family.  I have 2 brothers, I do not believe they would mind me saying so, but as most siblings, there were times we did not get along.  Life is different now,  Obviously, we no longer live under the same roof.  They both live in South Carolina, while I live in Mississippi.  There are not a lot of opportunities to get together.  I must admit, I don’t call as often as I could, and am sometimes late calling for birthdays…  Sorry, Tim.  But as most will agree, life gets in the way.  That is not an excuse, it is a fact.  A person has to be intentional in any type of relationship, especially when there is a lot of distance between the 2 people.  Plan it, put it in your calendar, do something to help you remember and prioritize time to talk and/or get together.  Trust me, there are a lot of people that would love to be able to talk to loved ones, but don’t have the ability or opportunity.  This was evident to me over vacation because there were a lot of conversations about “catching up” on what all had been going on in each family’s lives.  I realized how much I had been missing in my brothers’ lives and in their family’s lives.  Don’t make that mistake…

Now, as I stated, my brothers and I did not always get along.  That is not what has come between us though, it is the distance.  But, I do know some families that live close, but still don’t talk because of some comments that were made.  For those reading that have come to see me, you will remember that I talk about intent vs. impact, and filters.  Basically, we all have “filters” that influence how we act.  We have to make sure that our intended meaning has the impact that we want it to have.  “But you don’t know this person”, you might be saying.  That’s right, I probably don’t.  There are people that are not very nice and you do better not to talk to them, but that is where the family boundaries should be developed.  The boundaries make it possible to have a relationship.  The boundaries make it possible to have a relationship without the negative effects.  Yes, there are exceptions and I will be glad to discuss them if you have a difficult friend or family member.  Give me a call…

Don’t lose touch with family over something that can be remedied like hurt feelings or long distance.

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Toby Riley

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